this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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