Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
