i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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