i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
