Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize