therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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