I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize