dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize