i'm signing you up for texting rehab
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
