all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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