They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
