i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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