Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
