She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Found the puke drawer
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Randomize
