I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
