Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
