Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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