we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
