k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize