Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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