YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
