are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
oh god the rape fog is back!
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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