I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
