i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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