Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
