No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
