i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
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