I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
