'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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