I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
