You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize