I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
