i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
