id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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