i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
