All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
