I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
