Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
