I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
