Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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