Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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