we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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