she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Farmville is her only friend.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
