in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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