Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
