apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
