I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
