whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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