I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
