took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
