spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
you never un-have a 4some
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
