maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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