she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Randomize
