3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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