The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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