I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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