OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
