She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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