he shaved USA in his pubs
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize