I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
