do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
