1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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