Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
