i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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