I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
