fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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