My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Never underestimate the power of titties
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
